Krista is fixated on her Daddy these days.
She would rather have him feed and change her than her Mommy. Play time with Daddy is even more fun for her than with playing peek-a-boo and silly funny faces with Mommy. Krista fights tooth and nail when Mommy gives a break to Daddy and pick her up from him who by then might have spend anywhere from fifteen to twenty minutes carrying her around. She just wouldn’t look at me and start crying hysterically for separating her from her beloved Daddy and preventing her from snuggling up with him…
Do you see the unfairness of the situation as much as I see it here?
I only saw the pattern emerging after I started work. Before that, Krista was content with me. She wanted me and no one else. I was the center of her world. And then, last week, in a flair of activities and our haste in settling to a new routine, I overlooked Krista’s centre point of the world shifting. Yesterday, I was startled when my baby was struggling to get out of my hands and jump to her Dad. She almost acted like she has her dear life secured at her Daddy’s arms!
I am familiar with this kind of situation that some of the little girls develop towards their Dads at some point. I have heard stories from some of my girl friends and few of my cousins on how they became horrified in learning that their little girls temporarily shifted their focus of attention to their Dads and how these girls made it clear of the unimportance of their Mommies in not so nice ways. I nick named it ‘Daddy Fixation’ and was positive that it is never going to happen to me since I am a super mom and all. Yet, here I am!
What I cannot stand at all is the way my husband smirks at me when Krista desperately tries to get to Daddy’s arms from mine. It just drives me up the wall. Hubs suddenly feel that he is really important and possess the magical powers to calm our daughter down, for a change. I am pretty sure what gives him more pleasure is the fact that Mommy with her super powers and answers to all sorts of difficult situations involving kids is finally at a loss for a solution and has her tongue tied, big time!
Yes, this is big deal unfair.
I am having tough time adjusting to this sad situation. I thought Krista trusted me and will never abandon me like this. Fellow mommy friends of mine feels my pain and being gone through this themselves in their previous lives, advices me that this is just a phase and will pass soon. I am counting on that.
I cannot understand one thing though. During the nights, when Krista starts bawling over in between her sleep for someone to come and pick her up, she is expecting me to go to her than her Daddy.
Daddy on the other hand sleeping peacefully at the other end of the bed is dead to the world, kids and me. He knows that Mommy’s perseverance and rescue super powers will come handy for his good night sleep without interruptions. It is almost as if my baby girl has entered into a secret pact with Daddy to go easy on him at nights in exchange for Daddy catering to her needs during the day! It’s nasty, if that is the case, right?
And the poor Mommy gets up from her warm bed, stumble towards her baby’s room in the dark to hush her down and invite the quietness of the night again for everyone’s benefit.
I wonder why Krista’s Daddy fixation is not activated on her nocturnal tantrums. And I wonder why Hubs get to sleep fitfully even though he is our daughter’s current favorite and not me. I wonder why I become expendable to her in our mornings again and left to be watched when my daughter chooses her Daddy instead of me for changing her nappies… (I can do a much better job of changing diapers for my kids than Hubs, but that is beside the point)
Any idea how long this fixation thingy would last?
I am also all ears for any coping mechanisms that you guys adopted if you had an ‘experience’ of this magnitude
I am impatient and I want this nonsense to be over! (Okay, almost stomped my foot here. )